Bohunk excerpts part 3

My redemption, which began in Steps 4 and 5 by identifying the sources of my mental anguish, and continued in Steps 6 and 7 to becoming willing and humble to have my mental anguish removed, was now on the brink of release; the beginning  of the end and a return to society. Up to then I had denied any conscious feeling of sin or devoutness even after I had admitted my wrongs, and not yet achieved redemption or even understood what amends could offer me. But I had begun on the path toward recognition of the wrongs I had committed and sources of my guilt and shame … I began to examine many of His questions about existence with respect to my life of addiction. I was living in hell occupied by myself (who I could not stand), as divided into three people in my id, superego, and ego. The id drove my addictive use of alcohol drugs, the superego condemned its use, and ego kept failing to find a way to control the chaos and confusion. I examined such issues as freedom, self-deception, and the nature of time in my pursuit of listing and making amends.

Throughout my whole story and recovery, I looked back to the past and to the present, trying to make peace with myself about the evil things I had done to loved ones and not so loved ones. Guilt and shame ruled my life for many years during my addiction, now I painstakingly faced my anguish head on. I had made a decision to live, and had to find a way out of my living hell or die. I had to learn to live in the here and now. I had to forgive the past, and face the future, the two most dangerous places for me. I had to accept the present without fear and trembling or drink or drug, which for me was to die. Living in the present was my exit from my hell.

As I was making amends, I realized I was carrying the message for recovery in AA as explained by my purpose and recovery…I started to feel God was doing for me what I could not do for myself, and I felt a great uplift and euphoria. I had my spiritual experience and communion with a force greater than myself.  

—Chapter 10 “Mission from God” Bohunk’s Redemption, From Blacking Out to Showing Up: A Doctor’s Adventures

One Day at a time/odaat

“First say to yourself what you would be, then do what you have to do.” -Epictetus

One day at a time is a familiar phrase for anyone in recovery.

Looking out from a place of addiction to the monumental task in front of you is daunting. I know that the struggle didn’t always seem worth the effort when I was still deciding to dump addiction for good. The idea of one day at a time helped me immensely.

Breaking any task down into small steps is key to success. But recovering from addiction is different than most tasks because there is no end. You will always be in recovery and should always be proud to announce what day you are on. We have all gotten to our current number moving forward one day at a time.

Part of the odaat philosophy is that it is part of never giving up. You are staying vigilant but you only have to see today as the goal. It is key to preventing yourself from getting overwhelmed.

Even though I am on year 40 of being sober I have to make the decision every day. Somedays it’s as easy as breathing, as a heartbeat, I do it without conscious thought. Other days it is a more tangible decision, like getting out of bed, something I have to actively choose. Having chosen to stay sober for decades helps me make that decision but there is a pull somedays that I think we would all do well to remember as we move forward.

I don’t want to give false hope that one day you will be free and clear of it all, temptation can surprise you at any time. Everyone who knows me knows that there have been very stressful events and memories that awaken that voice in my head suggesting I give in to temptation. One day at a time speaks to me as an important phrase at the beginning of the journey and throughout. All we can do is face today and do our best to end up ahead.

Please note: This blog post is to be used for inspirational use only, and not to be used as a substitute for medical advice. Quitting an addiction is fantastic, but it’s also important to know the safest methods for quitting your specific addiction, while minimizing any withdrawal effects.

Walking Away from an Addiction

I felt like someone was holding onto me and dragging me up, down, everywhere.  I was on a roller coaster out of control, heading towards crash after crash.” –Bohunk’s Redemption

Leaving an addiction can feel like an impossible task. However there are ways to make it easier, manageable, and even achievable. Here’s a few ways that can help:

1) Don’t look at who you are now, look at who you want to be.

Negative thoughts and guilt towards yourself are not helpful, especially since you’ve already decided you want to change. Instead, channel that energy into setting new short and long-term goals on helping yourself become free from the addiction.

2) Remove easy access to the addictive substance(s).

At some point, you will likely want to go back to your addiction, even when you know it isn’t in your best interest. If you have the ability to easily access the addictive substance, it will be even more difficult to resist the temptation. Make it difficult for yourself to go return to the addiction, so it will be easier to stay on the path of quitting.

3) The first step is usually the hardest.

Being aware and reminding yourself that it will get easier over time can be significant motivation when trying to navigate through the beginning.

4) Reach out for support.

You don’t have to go through this alone. The knowledge that other people care about you or know what you’re going through can help strengthen your resolve. There is no shame in seeking a support group, or opening up to a close family member or friend.

5) Consistency

Above all else, keep trying, keep chasing your goal of sobriety. If you stay on your path, you will reach it!

Like this post?
Check out the new memoir: Bohunk’s Redemption, a captivating story of the struggles through extreme addiction and the ability to recover, an inspiration for everyone in recovery: You can still achieve great things!

Check it out here!
https://www.amazon.com/Bohunks-Redemption-Blacking-Showing-Adventures-ebook/dp/B07RT6QD65

Please note: This blog post is to be used for inspirational use only, and not to be used as a substitute for medical advice. Quitting an addiction is fantastic, but it’s also important to know the safest methods for quitting your specific addiction, while minimizing any withdrawal effects.

Recovery is Always in your Reach

When suffering from an addiction, recovery can feel like one of the tallest mountains you could ever climb. It can be a challenge that you can overcome though, and it is within your reach. Following these steps can help you along the right path:

STEP ONE: Set short-term and long-term goals for yourself.

Expecting to get better overnight can be setting yourself up for failure. Quitting an addiction is not an on/off switch, it’s a process. Having short and long term goals can help keep you on track and give you more control over your progress. What will you accomplish today? What will you accomplish tomorrow? What would you like to see 3 months from now?

“Fortunately, I didn’t expect and demand results overnight, and gradually began to see that I accomplished movements towards my goal.” — Bohunk’s Redemption.

STEP TWO: Be proud of each step you take, no matter how small.

Recovery isn’t a competition or a race, it’s your own personal path to healing. Every step you take down the path is one step closer to your goal, so be proud of yourself, you CAN do this!

STEP THREE: Be positive and productive.

It can feel discouraging not reaching your goal as quickly as you would like. But as long as you making progress in that direction then you are on the right path. Keep your focus on the destination and your hopes high; we can accomplish great things if we simply continue to believe in ourselves.

STEP FOUR: Keep going!

Recovery is a journey, but the empowerment of gaining control over your life is worth it. Be consistent in your goals, be proud of your progress. Keep up the great work! You can achieve this!

Like this post?
Check out the new memoir: Bohunk’s Redemption, a captivating story of the struggles through extreme addiction and the ability to recover, an inspiration for everyone in recovery: You can still achieve great things!

Check it out here!
https://www.amazon.com/Bohunks-Redemption-Blacking-Showing-Adventures-ebook/dp/B07RT6QD65

Bohunk Excerpts Part 2

Now I know, “practicing these principles in all our affairs” is daunting and where I often fail. But it is not how many times you fail that counts, it is how many times you try that matters. Though I practice these 12 Steps in my daily life, I am by no means a saint by anyone’s standards. I am still trying to stay one step ahead of my addictions though I do work Step 1 in AA perfectly by abstaining from alcohol and addicting drugs, and in DA by abstaining from compulsive debting.

  However, I am an example for other alcoholics and drug addicts who want to recover, and for professionals who want to help their patients and clients who suffer from addictive illnesses. I write articles and books to help physicians and others who care for patients and clients with addictions. I give talks and teach medical students, residents, doctors, and anyone who wants to know and listen. I am considered an expert in a field where expertise is lacking, and not highly valued, unfortunately.

Yet I am grateful. I am blessed. I have turned a life-threatening disease into an asset. I found a power greater than myself: to help others. I don’t always know where I am going, but I am not lost. I have good orderly direction. I can live more in the solution, less in the problem. I can help where sometimes no one else can. God is doing for me what I could not do for myself.

Keeping sober and abstinent are the most important things in my life. The most important decisions I ever made were my decisions to give up my addictions. I am convinced that my whole life depends on not taking that first drink, drug, or debt. Nothing is as important to me as my own sobriety and abstinence. Everything I have, my whole life, depend on those things. Can I afford to forget these, even for one minute?      

—Chapter 21 “It Gets Better, It Works If You Work It,” Bohunk’s Redemption, From Blacking Out to Showing Up: A Doctor’s Adventures

📖 Available on ebook and paperback at Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

Bohunk Excerpts… Part 1

I was constantly trying to explain my irrational thoughts and behaviors. I had intellectualized my entire world. I had rationalizations for just about everything. I lived in complete denial of my addiction and the life it created. I feared shadows, running away from ghosts of the past, present, and future, and my impending doom. When would the next tsunami hit? I was a walking time bomb, sure to go off. On a roller coaster, out of control, heading for a disaster. Death only a matter of time; committed to dying, sure to happen. No way to live. Not living, just along for the ride with death.

One day, I was looking out the window of my townhouse on a dreary afternoon in late October. I thought to myself, if I keep drinking I would be sure to start back using the tranquilizers, sedatives, and narcotics, etc. I would overdose next, followed by another intensive care unit, psychiatric hospital, alcohol. I wasn’t afraid of death. I was afraid of living. I had had enough. I had reached my bottom. I was trapped somewhere between living and dying, in limbo, on the fence, the most difficult place to be. I couldn’t stay sober, and couldn’t stay drunk. I was a cat on a hot tin roof, unable to stay airborne. I began my long journey of surrender to win. I had to give up alcohol and drugs for good, one day at a time. I had to acknowledge I was powerless over alcohol and drugs; imagine, finally…

—Chapter 8 “Powerlessness and Acceptance,” Bohunk’s Redemption, From Blacking Out to Showing Up: A Doctor’s Adventures

📖 Available on ebook and paperback at Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

Bohunk’s Redemption is Now Available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble!

Bohunk’s Redemption, my recovery memoir, is now available to purchase on ebook and paperback on Amazon and Barnes & Noble!

You can even read a free instant preview of the first couple of chapters: here!

The book’s synopsis:

When young Jewish Catholic “Bohunk,” heads to college, he aspires to become a doctor, but fulfills his family destiny of alcoholism instead. Drinking his way through medical school, and getting hooked on easy-to-access narcotics along the way, Bohunk inescapably finds himself at the precipice of death. After he emerges from a suicidal, drug-induced coma, he finally decides to confront his greatest fears, and commits to live. In his empowered and invigorated life of recovery, Bohunk walks you through the 12 Steps of AA. He quixotically sets out to change the world by becoming an educator, addiction psychiatrist, and attorney, to help similarly situated addicts. However, along the way his life is not short of personal drama—he marries, divorces, and with the help of U.S. Politicians and infamous private detectives, retrieves his two abducted daughters from South America! This highly entertaining memoir will leave you in awe of how one man simply survived, let alone ultimately prevailed, against all odds.

Don’t miss out on this unbelievable, one in a million story!

Welcome!

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